I love looking backwards. I know that it does us no good spending our lives looking at the past, but the past holds so much knowledge. Lessons to learn from...foundational things...like how to treat people, and how to just generally be good and decent in the world.
I had a blind date on Saturday...something I've never tried before. Now, I don't want to paint all men with the same brush, and the male friends I have all cringed when I debriefed them on the date...but come on guys! Get with the program!!
Now, I come from a family with a long tradition of farming, so lessons I have learned about what gentlemanly behaviour is, and how a lady should be treated might be a bit far from what is considered normal in modern society...which I think it part of society's downfall, to be honest. For example, I was raised to understand that it isn't OK for a date to arrive at your house, and simply honk the car horn...a good man will come to the door to pick you up, and will speak to whatever family members might be there at the time.
My date on Saturday was guilty of breaking rule #2 on the list of gentlemanly behaviour...a gentleman never makes a lady wait...ever. The offender was almost 25 minutes late. I had my hand on my purse in preparation to leave the restaurant when he finally arrived (with no decent excuse for being so late, and seriously under-dressed for the venue). I'm afraid that these things coupled with some other discrepancies in his information had my inner dialog reminding me that it would better to be single than to settle...
I know that there is some confusion about what women want, or how they expect to be treated. I know that we're generally all thought to be raving feminists who want to open our own doors, pay our own way at all times, and shave our legs IF we see fit. Well, let me take this opportunity to tell you a bit about how we (the vast majority of us who are good human beings who are well-balanced) want to be treated:
1. We are affectionate types who want to be treated like we're special, appreciated, and important in your lives...just like we treat you.
2. We like when you open doors for us. We don't think that by doing so, you are commenting on our weakness...'cause I don't know any women who can't manage to open a door. And by the same token, we don't mind opening doors for you either...we see it as just doing something nice for the person we're with, whether that be a date, a friend, or a family member. We consider it a sign of character...showing that you were raised to be courteous to people.
3. We like when you buy us dinner or a movie ticket...and we like doing the same for you. Again, it is just a matter of treating someone nicely...it's nice when you treat us to something, and it's nice to treat you to things as well because it shows our mutual affection for each other.
4. Yes, we want equality...the right to vote, to be paid the same wage for the same work. That battle was fought to give women the chance to follow their aspirations to be more than housewives, if that's what they wanted. Women want to be seen as intelligent, strong, and clever, and not as lesser beings. And for the record, there is NOTHING easy about being a housewife/stay-at-home-mom...not if the job is being done right...so it is certainly not something that should be belittled. When we talk about equality, we mean that we want to be treated as your equal, and not as your property...which should be a no-brainer.
5. We are communicators...it's how we gauge situations to know whether things are good, or if there are issues. Men consider that to be just women being complicated, and women see it as us using common sense...which is probably how we get into so much trouble when we try to talk to one another. Don't freak out when we try to talk to you...try talking to us...
When I got home, "Casablanca" was on TV. It's one of those iconic movies that I've been meaning to watch for ages, and just haven't gotten around to. Given the mood I was in, I thought I might as well go for it. Also given my thinking about the olden days, I made popcorn...not that insipid microwave stuff full of odd chemicals...this was just pot on the stove with nothing but some oil, popping corn, real butter and salt kind of popcorn like I used to have when I was a kid (I used to sit on the kitchen counter while my mom made it...a memory I had completely forgotten about)...it was so delicious...I might never go back to microwave popcorn again...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship...
Monday, August 20, 2012
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Monday, August 20, 2012
The fundamental things apply as time goes by...
I love looking backwards. I know that it does us no good spending our lives looking at the past, but the past holds so much knowledge. Lessons to learn from...foundational things...like how to treat people, and how to just generally be good and decent in the world.
I had a blind date on Saturday...something I've never tried before. Now, I don't want to paint all men with the same brush, and the male friends I have all cringed when I debriefed them on the date...but come on guys! Get with the program!!
Now, I come from a family with a long tradition of farming, so lessons I have learned about what gentlemanly behaviour is, and how a lady should be treated might be a bit far from what is considered normal in modern society...which I think it part of society's downfall, to be honest. For example, I was raised to understand that it isn't OK for a date to arrive at your house, and simply honk the car horn...a good man will come to the door to pick you up, and will speak to whatever family members might be there at the time.
My date on Saturday was guilty of breaking rule #2 on the list of gentlemanly behaviour...a gentleman never makes a lady wait...ever. The offender was almost 25 minutes late. I had my hand on my purse in preparation to leave the restaurant when he finally arrived (with no decent excuse for being so late, and seriously under-dressed for the venue). I'm afraid that these things coupled with some other discrepancies in his information had my inner dialog reminding me that it would better to be single than to settle...
I know that there is some confusion about what women want, or how they expect to be treated. I know that we're generally all thought to be raving feminists who want to open our own doors, pay our own way at all times, and shave our legs IF we see fit. Well, let me take this opportunity to tell you a bit about how we (the vast majority of us who are good human beings who are well-balanced) want to be treated:
1. We are affectionate types who want to be treated like we're special, appreciated, and important in your lives...just like we treat you.
2. We like when you open doors for us. We don't think that by doing so, you are commenting on our weakness...'cause I don't know any women who can't manage to open a door. And by the same token, we don't mind opening doors for you either...we see it as just doing something nice for the person we're with, whether that be a date, a friend, or a family member. We consider it a sign of character...showing that you were raised to be courteous to people.
3. We like when you buy us dinner or a movie ticket...and we like doing the same for you. Again, it is just a matter of treating someone nicely...it's nice when you treat us to something, and it's nice to treat you to things as well because it shows our mutual affection for each other.
4. Yes, we want equality...the right to vote, to be paid the same wage for the same work. That battle was fought to give women the chance to follow their aspirations to be more than housewives, if that's what they wanted. Women want to be seen as intelligent, strong, and clever, and not as lesser beings. And for the record, there is NOTHING easy about being a housewife/stay-at-home-mom...not if the job is being done right...so it is certainly not something that should be belittled. When we talk about equality, we mean that we want to be treated as your equal, and not as your property...which should be a no-brainer.
5. We are communicators...it's how we gauge situations to know whether things are good, or if there are issues. Men consider that to be just women being complicated, and women see it as us using common sense...which is probably how we get into so much trouble when we try to talk to one another. Don't freak out when we try to talk to you...try talking to us...
When I got home, "Casablanca" was on TV. It's one of those iconic movies that I've been meaning to watch for ages, and just haven't gotten around to. Given the mood I was in, I thought I might as well go for it. Also given my thinking about the olden days, I made popcorn...not that insipid microwave stuff full of odd chemicals...this was just pot on the stove with nothing but some oil, popping corn, real butter and salt kind of popcorn like I used to have when I was a kid (I used to sit on the kitchen counter while my mom made it...a memory I had completely forgotten about)...it was so delicious...I might never go back to microwave popcorn again...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship...
I had a blind date on Saturday...something I've never tried before. Now, I don't want to paint all men with the same brush, and the male friends I have all cringed when I debriefed them on the date...but come on guys! Get with the program!!
Now, I come from a family with a long tradition of farming, so lessons I have learned about what gentlemanly behaviour is, and how a lady should be treated might be a bit far from what is considered normal in modern society...which I think it part of society's downfall, to be honest. For example, I was raised to understand that it isn't OK for a date to arrive at your house, and simply honk the car horn...a good man will come to the door to pick you up, and will speak to whatever family members might be there at the time.
My date on Saturday was guilty of breaking rule #2 on the list of gentlemanly behaviour...a gentleman never makes a lady wait...ever. The offender was almost 25 minutes late. I had my hand on my purse in preparation to leave the restaurant when he finally arrived (with no decent excuse for being so late, and seriously under-dressed for the venue). I'm afraid that these things coupled with some other discrepancies in his information had my inner dialog reminding me that it would better to be single than to settle...
I know that there is some confusion about what women want, or how they expect to be treated. I know that we're generally all thought to be raving feminists who want to open our own doors, pay our own way at all times, and shave our legs IF we see fit. Well, let me take this opportunity to tell you a bit about how we (the vast majority of us who are good human beings who are well-balanced) want to be treated:
1. We are affectionate types who want to be treated like we're special, appreciated, and important in your lives...just like we treat you.
2. We like when you open doors for us. We don't think that by doing so, you are commenting on our weakness...'cause I don't know any women who can't manage to open a door. And by the same token, we don't mind opening doors for you either...we see it as just doing something nice for the person we're with, whether that be a date, a friend, or a family member. We consider it a sign of character...showing that you were raised to be courteous to people.
3. We like when you buy us dinner or a movie ticket...and we like doing the same for you. Again, it is just a matter of treating someone nicely...it's nice when you treat us to something, and it's nice to treat you to things as well because it shows our mutual affection for each other.
4. Yes, we want equality...the right to vote, to be paid the same wage for the same work. That battle was fought to give women the chance to follow their aspirations to be more than housewives, if that's what they wanted. Women want to be seen as intelligent, strong, and clever, and not as lesser beings. And for the record, there is NOTHING easy about being a housewife/stay-at-home-mom...not if the job is being done right...so it is certainly not something that should be belittled. When we talk about equality, we mean that we want to be treated as your equal, and not as your property...which should be a no-brainer.
5. We are communicators...it's how we gauge situations to know whether things are good, or if there are issues. Men consider that to be just women being complicated, and women see it as us using common sense...which is probably how we get into so much trouble when we try to talk to one another. Don't freak out when we try to talk to you...try talking to us...
When I got home, "Casablanca" was on TV. It's one of those iconic movies that I've been meaning to watch for ages, and just haven't gotten around to. Given the mood I was in, I thought I might as well go for it. Also given my thinking about the olden days, I made popcorn...not that insipid microwave stuff full of odd chemicals...this was just pot on the stove with nothing but some oil, popping corn, real butter and salt kind of popcorn like I used to have when I was a kid (I used to sit on the kitchen counter while my mom made it...a memory I had completely forgotten about)...it was so delicious...I might never go back to microwave popcorn again...I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship...
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